My daughter turns 16 in May, and no, she is not dating…yet.

I have realized again that she will have a first date. And I remembered a list my friend Chris Roussin shared with me earlier this spring.

Chris has ministered with Lincoln Heights Christian Church in Phoenix, Arizona, since 2010. It’s an old church (started in 1885) with new growth, but Chris’s list wasn’t about that.

He shared five P’s he discussed with the guy who took his daughter on her first date. I love his list! In fact, I’m ready to deliver all five P’s to my daughter’s first date, too. The more I think about each point, the more I know what I want to say under each one.

Clemson University broke a 29-game winning streak with its loss against Louisiana State at the College Football Playoff National Championship January 13. Clemson coach Dabo Swinney was gracious after the game, even while admitting how difficult it was to lose. “We’re all hurt, we’re all disappointed,” he said. “But we’re not defined by that. I’m incredibly thankful for our team. Such a special group of people.”

His spirit reflects an attitude and an outlook that will serve any leader well. In fact, every Christian can take courage that today’s disappointment need not define of our whole life or future.

I spent 6 hours on a mountain in the desert with our elders a couple weeks ago, and I’ll never forget what we experienced—and what we learned. We were on retreat outside Phoenix, Arizona, led by Mark Moore. The hike was our main Saturday activity. It took us on a rocky path with crags and switchbacks and a 1,617-foot elevation gain. It wasn’t easy. But it was very good, not only because it built a bond among our leaders, but also because it showed us some valuable leadership lessons. I want to share four of them here.

“It’s lonely at the top.” Like most clichés, this one gets repeated so often because it expresses at least a little truth. In fact, according to some research, at least half of all CEOS report feelings of loneliness. As one researcher puts it, “You can imagine that … over time having to make a lot of tough, unpopular decisions that are constantly going to upset at least one part of your constituency could start to feel isolating.”

Even though the roles of CEO and senior pastor are different in many ways, I can relate. The lead pastor may feel as if he’s the only one who truly understands all the issues and the challenges. Carrying such a weight can isolate you.