A local radio DJ recovering from brain surgery spoke this week about a man he met in a store where he and his wife were shopping. “Look,” she said. “That guy has a head scar just like yours. Go talk to him.” The DJ discovered this stranger had undergone the same surgery as he had—by the same doctor in the same hospital. They had an immediate bond, and it started with their scars.

This is an extreme example, but it isn’t all that unusual. Get a group of men together, and they’re often showing off their scars. Each one is proof of their bravery or bravado: a cut hand, a bruised forehead, a gash on the leg. Sometimes the guys will just admit a clumsy fall or a foolish risk. The group gets a good laugh, and the bond between them grows stronger. Women, too, will compare the scars from their Caesarean sections or other surgeries, even if they don’t show them off. Describing their common scars brings them closer to each other.

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